_LOIS AND CLARK_
_The New Adventures of Superman_
"Home Is Where The Hurt Is"
Teleplay by Eugenie Ross-Leming & Brad Buckner
Story by William M. Akers
_CAST_
CLARK KENT/SUPERMAN
LOIS LANE
JIMMY OLSEN
PERRY WHITE
MARTHA KENT
JONATHAN KENT
DR. SAM LANE
ELLEN LANE
MINDY CHURCH
JOHNNY BERMUDA
BABY GUNDERSON
HENCHMAN
CRIME BOSS
MUGGER
SNITCH
COP #1
INTERVIEWER
_LOCATIONS_
_INTERIORS_: _EXTERIORS_:
Daily Planet Sidewalk Cafe
Newsroom
Perry's Office Orphanage
Lois' Apartment Police Department
Living Room
Bedroom Gloomy Street
Hallway
Gloomy Alley
Clark's Apartment
Living Room Metropolis Street
Bedroom
Kitchen Top of Building
Billboard
Mindy's Lair
Handyman's Lab
TEASER
FADE IN:
1 INT. DAILY PLANET - WITH PERRY - TRACKING - DAY #1 1
PERRY moves down the steps from vending machines, sipping
coffee, reading a letter with a smile. All around the
bullpen, Staffers are hanging garlands and Christmas
decorations. He runs into JIMMY, loaded with files.
PERRY
(re letter)
How about that? My son wants me to
go skiing in Vermont with him for
the holidays. What're _you_ doin'
for Christmas?
JIMMY
My mom mentioned meeting her in
Vegas.
PERRY
(as they pass Lois' desk)
That's what the holidays are about,
bein' with family.
LOIS
(under her breath)
Long as it's not my family.
CLARK comes up behind LOIS.
CLARK
You're not going to your mom's for
Christmas?
LOIS
Clark, I just can't. My mother and
sister do nothing but fight; my
brother hides out; then my father
phones, sending Mom into a
depression, even though they've
been _divorced_ for seventeen
years! It's the same every year!
CLARK
So how did you get out of it?
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 2.
1 CONTINUED: 1
LOIS
I said I had to cover for you,
'cause you were headed home to
Smallville. So see, it's not a
total lie, because you are headed
home to Smallville.
CLARK
No, I'm not. My folks decided to
come here.
LOIS
(deflated)
God, it is a total lie.
(then)
Wait, your parents are coming
here? I love your parents!
They're just so.... not insane.
Clark is staring at something O.S.
CLARK
Lois, some people have worse family
trouble than yours...
2 INTERCUT THEIR POV - TV MONITORS 2
MINDY CHURCH is being interviewed, a microphone in her face.
INTERVIEWER (O.S.)
So Mrs. Church, with your husband
in prison, you've devoted your
fortune to aiding the destitute.
MINDY
And poor people, too. Oh, I wish
my husband wasn't an evil monster
who once ran all the crime in the
city, but, whatever. I want to hug
you, Metropolis, and become a true
Metropolean myself.
ON Lois and Clark's reaction, we...
CUT TO:
3 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - CLOSE ON MINDY - DAY 3
MINDY
All I want to do is fit in.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 3.
3 CONTINUED: 3
CAMERA PULLS BACK to find her in the former Bill Church
lair, addressing four vicious-looking Crime Bosses. She
takes a puff from a huge cigar.
MINDY (CONT'D)
I mean, you guys run the rackets,
the prostitution, and the guns in
Metropolis, what's left for a girl
like me? A dumb old chain of
Costmart stores? So I have a kind
of a thought. I'll start up
Intergang again, and Intergang will
run all the crime in the city.
Yes, I like it.
CRIME BOSS
(standing)
A: We like bein' on our own. B: We
ain't workin' for a woman. C: We
most assuredly aren't workin' for
_you_.
Mindy sighs. The Crime Bosses start out, then look around
in confusion as DOORS SLAM and an airline-type oxygen mask
drops near Mindy.
MINDY
(stubbing out cigar)
I'm sorry you feel that way.
FEMALE VOICE (V.0.)
(pleasantly)
In the unlikely event of poison
gas, pull the mask toward you and
breathe normally.
A HISS of gas as Mindy calmly presses mask to face. The
Crime Bosses variously yell, pound on doors, draw guns as
Smoke rises. The Crime Bosses clutch their throats and keel
over. Mindy files her nails.
BLACK.
_END OF TEASE_
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 4.
_ACT ONE_
FADE IN:
4 EXT. GLOOMY INNER CITY STREET - DAY 4
A motley Salvation Army-type Santa rings a BELL near a
collection pot as covered bodies are carried out of an
abandoned storefront by coroner's people. A few press
people take notes, Cameras FLASH, as we FIND Lois and Clark.
LOIS
(flips notebook shut)
Eight crime bosses. Found
together. Dead. Someone was
mighty cranky today.
They start walking away, CAMERA TRACKS with them.
CLARK
Sorta reminds me of the bad old
days of Intergang, when Bill Church
was putting every crook in town
under his control.
LOIS
Clark, are we absolutely sure
Intergang's finished? I mean, what
if one of Bill Church's
lieutenants...
CLARK
... was trying trying to start it
up again?
LOIS
Perry was talking to me about
interviewing Mindy Church... I said
I'd rather be buried alive, but
maybe I was overreacting. She may
have seen something or know
something or....
(looks around)
Clark?
Clark's stopped to stare at an appliance store window.
CLARK
(points)
Lois... Isn't that your father?
Lois fearfully turns to look at the window. Her face falls.
LOIS
Oh no.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 5.
5 INTERCUT THEIR POV - TV IN STORE WINDOW 5
On TV in the window, DR. SAM LANE, hearty and exuberant,
makes a sales pitch in a cheesy Infomercial set.
SAM
Hey there! Want better buns in ten
days or less?!...
LOIS
Oh my God.
SAM
(rapid fire)
The answer's in this little bottle!
(slaps large medicine
bottle)
Dr. Sam Lane's patented
Abs-in-a-Bottle, for the firm,
taut, belly and butt favored by
all! Two spoonfuls of this and...
(into megaphone)
_Prepare_ _to_ _be_ _ogled_!
LOIS
I can't take any more.
She turns from the window, leans against a wall.
LOIS (CONT'D)
That man was a brilliant surgeon!
He had a family and a good life!
So he abandons us and goes off
creating cyborgs and then _this_?!
I know you thought I was
exaggerating about my family!
(waving toward tv)
Well?! _Well_?!
CLARK
When we're married they'll be my
family, too.
LOIS
So I guess that means you're
backing out.
CUT TO:
6 EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE - ON KLEENEX BOX - DAY 6
A hand grabs a tissue, takes CAMERA to Mindy, who dabs
emotionally at her eyes. Lois is also at the table.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 6.
6 CONTINUED: 6
MINDY
(sniffling)
Sorry to get emotional, but you
just touched a nerve.
LOIS
Mindy, how is it you feel so
bereft? Your husband did leave you
in charge of millions and the
chain of Costmart stores.
MINDY
Can a store keep you warm at night?
Can a store call you 'honey bunny?'
Can a store.... What else can't
stores do?
LOIS
(lost)
Poach an egg?
MINDY
Exactly. Besides, the Costmart
board of directors won't listen to
a thing I say. And I have lots of
good ideas, Miss Lane. Lots and
lots! Those guys make me sick.
LOIS
(writing)
Sick, got it. Let me ask you about
Intergang...
MINDY
Intergang is over! And I never
knew anything about it when it
wasn't over! Bill never told me
anything!
(in tears)
I'm just a bird in a gilded case!
LOIS
(sighs, hands her a
Kleenex)
Cage. Gilded cage.
MINDY
Huh?
CAMERA PANS to find a Clown walking down the sidewalk on the
other side of the street.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 7.
7 WITH CLOWN 7
He _______es a cluster of helium balloons, three of which he
releases as he passes across from the cafe. He exits.
8 THE BALLOONS 8
The three balloons sail across the street. Suspended from
them is a tiny silver bomb. The balloons keep moving until
they hover some distance above Lois and Mindy's table.
Suddenly, in rapid succession, the three balloons POP and
the bomb drops toward the table.
9 INTERCUT LOIS AND MINDY 9
They look up to see the silver object headed their way.
Suddenly, a BLUR of blue and red and SUPERMAN appears at the
table, catches the bomb in one hand just before it hits.
SUPERMAN
(to Lois)
Hi.
Then he BLURS away and there is an enormous EXPLOSION O.S.
Lois and Mindy stare in shock. Superman BLURS back.
SUPERMAN (CONT'D)
Bomb.
MINDY
A bomb?! Oh, poor Lois. Who'd
want to kill you?
SUPERMAN
Or you, Mrs. Church.
LOIS
Who'd wanna kill you?
Mindy looks perplexed, we...
CUT TO:
10 INT. HANDYMAN'S LAB - DAY 10
JOHNNY BERMUDA, handsome in a regular-guy way, wearing
vintage Hawaiian shirt and jeans, works on a death ray aimed
at the cut-out of a man. He's on the phone.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 8.
10 CONTINUED: 10
JOHNNY
(into phone)
No, Cheryl Marie, you cannot stay
up past nine. Yes, honey, you can
watch TV, but none of that
gratuitous violence.
He fires the RAY; the head of the cut-out EXPLODES.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
See you tonight.
He hangs up, checks the smoking target as Mindy flounces in.
MINDY
Johnny Bermuda? Also known as 'The
Handyman,' the world's most feared
assassin?
JOHNNY
Mrs. Church. How the hell did you
find my lab?
MINDY
I asked around. You tried to blow
me up today, Johnny. I don't
appreciate that.
JOHNNY
What makes you think it was me?
MINDY
Clown, balloons, bomb... It all
adds up. I suppose every crime
boss in Metropolis chipped in.
JOHNNY
Or what's left of the crime
bosses in Metropolis. The ones you
didn't gas.
(beat)
I guess you're here to shoot me.
MINDY
No, you silly, I'm here to _hire_
you.
JOHNNY
What?!
MINDY
Face it, I have more cash than all
these low-rent crooks put together.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 9.
10 CONTINUED: 2 10
MINDY (CONT'D)
And once Intergang is back, I'll
control all the action in town!
(running fingers through
his hair)
All of it.
JOHNNY
(gently pulls away)
Hey, hey, hey...
MINDY
There's only one fly in my
ointment, Johnny Superman. I
want him killed.
JOHNNY
Who doesn't? But the only thing
that'll do the trick is Kryptonite.
Which is under heavy guard at
S.T.A.R. labs.
MINDY
(sultry)
Forget Kryptonite. I'm thinking
more, like, what if Superman got
the flu?
JOHNNY
(disdainful)
Think of that all by yourself, did
you?
MINDY
It'd have to be a kind germ they
have on Krypton. The kind of germ
you might get immune to if you
lived there. Only Superman never
did. He came here when he was a
baby.
Now Johnny is starting to listen.
JOHNNY
If his body couldn't fight it off,
a raging virus would kill him.
(then)
But where would you get a virus
from Krypton?
MINDY
(calling toward door)
Bring 'er in, boys!
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 10.
11 NEW ANGLE 11
A _____ter HENCHMAN and a Thug wheel in the tiny spaceship
in which Clark first landed on earth.
JOHNNY
What is it?
MINDY
Oh, something I picked up from a
secret government agency. The
spaceship Baby Superman came to
earth in.
JOHNNY
You ended a sentence with a
preposition.
MINDY
My scientists scanned this thing
and it's real germy, Johnny. The
little bugs crystallized when the
ship's coating heated up in the
earth's atmosphere.
JOHNNY
(getting caught up)
So if we could... isolate the
microbes' D.N.A., we could start
growing our own.
MINDY
Yes! But my stupid scientists
can't make the germs _grow_! It
really burns me up.
JOHNNY
Why do you think I can pull this
off?
MINDY
(moving in seductively)
You're the Handyman. That's what
you do. Pull things off.
She's dangerously close, gazing smolderingly into his eyes.
CUT TO:
12 INT. HALLWAY - LOIS' APT. BUILDING - ON LOIS - NIGHT #1 12
Returning from work, Lois rounds a corner, looking through
mail she's just picked up, now looks up and:
LOIS
Clark!
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 11.
13 ANGLE TO INCLUDE CLARK 13
He's in the process of unlocking her door, carrying an
armload of take-out cartons. As she nears him:
CLARK
Lois, where've you been?
LOIS
I stayed late to finish the Mindy
story. Why would someone try to
kill her? Revenge? Keep her from
getting something she wants?
Thanks for grabbing that bomb, by
the way...
(notices)
Why so much take-out?
CLARK
You invited my parents and me for
dinner. I guess you forgot.
LOIS
Oh! Oh, Clark! I'm sorry!
14 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - NIGHT 14
Lois charges in, followed by Clark. JONATHAN and MARTHA are
there, setting the table.
LOIS
(kissing them)
Jonathan! Martha! I am _so_
sorry! I forgot all about dinner!
JONATHAN
No big deal.
Lois grabs take-out cartons, starts opening them.
MARTHA
Lois, listen, there's something you
should...
DOORBELL.
LOIS
(rushing to door)
Excuse me, Martha... Clark,
napkins are in that bottom drawer.
JONATHAN
Lois, while Clark was out...
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 12.
14 CONTINUED: 14
Lois opens door to reveal ELLEN LANE, a handsome, tailored
woman, emotionally fried.
ELLEN
Surprise!
LOIS
Mother!
ELLEN
Lois!
CLARK
Oh boy.
ELLEN
I couldn't stand the thought of my
baby alone and miserable in this
wretched city for Christmas!
(enters, sees Kents)
Oh.
(beat)
Actually, I pictured you more alone
than this.
LOIS
Uh. Well. Yes. Uh. Mother, this
is Clark
MARTHA
Lois, could I see you for a...
LOIS
And these are Clark's parents.
MARTHA
Lois....
A TOILET FLUSHES O.S. They all freeze. Then:
SAM (O.S.)
Surprise!!
15 NEW ANGLE 15
Standing in the bathroom doorway is Sam Lane.
LOIS
Daddy!
SAM
Princess!
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 13.
15 CONTINUED: 15
ELLEN
Sam!
SAM
Ellen!
CLARK
Oh boy.
LOIS
(weakly)
I'm sorry, Martha, you were trying
to tell me something.
MARTHA
Your father's here.
BLACK.
_END OF ACT ONE_
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 14.
_ACT TWO_
FADE IN:
16 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT 16
Everyone's frozen in emotional limbo.
ELLEN
I'm leaving.
LOIS
Mother, no, you can't!
ELLEN
Yes, I can.
(re Sam)
You invited _him_.
LOIS
No I didn't!
ELLEN
Then why is he here?
SAM
I'm the father.
ELLEN
Not for the last seventeen years!
SAM
It's the holiday season! Time to
mend my fences.
CLARK
Tell you what, let's all have a
glass of holiday cheer.
MARTHA
Yes! A glass of holiday cheer!
ELLEN
I'm an alcoholic.
MARTHA
Oh. Uh-huh.
SAM
Ellen, I was kind of hoping you'd
view our past as I do.
ELLEN
A cesspool of abandonment and
humiliation?
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 15.
16 CONTINUED: 16
SAM
As past! Over! When we parted I
was bitter with life and the
medical profession, but now I have
a whole new lease on life!
ELLEN
(grabbing bag)
Good-bye, Lois.
LOIS
Mother...
SAM
(crossing to window)
Wait, don't go, Ellen. I want to
introduce you all to someone
special.
(shouts out window)
Come on up, Honey!
ELLEN
You brought a _date_?!
SAM
(crossing to door)
We need to be grown-ups and get
everything out in the open.
LOIS
She's outside? It's freezing!
SAM
Oh, she doesn't mind.
Sam flings open the door to reveal BABY GUNDERSON; gorgeous,
curvy, in her twenties, underdressed. They all stare.
SAM (CONT'D)
I'd like you to meet my fiancee,
Baby Gunderson.
ELLEN
My God, she's nine years old.
LOIS
Well. Hello, uh, Baby, gee, you
must be cold.
BABY GUNDERSON
I do not feel the cold.
MARTHA
Eggnog?
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 16.
16 CONTINUED: 2 16
BABY GUNDERSON
I do not drink.
ELLEN
Not yet, that is.
SAM
Ellen, don't think of her as a
human being...
CLARK
Now that's a bit harsh, sir
SAM
I made her.
LOIS
Excuse me?!
SAM
_Built_ her! You know how I used
to tinker with cyborgs. Baby
Gunderson's an improvement; one
hundred percent machine.
ELLEN
Of all the psycho, sicko, sexual...
Nothing personal, Baby...
SAM ELLEN
For the love of You pull away
Mike, Ellen, it's from us and
this kind of medicine and the
closed-mindedness whole world, so
that drove us of _course_ you
apart in the want to marry a
first place. Why robot! Why am I
can't we just let surprised? I'm
go of the past not surprised!
and move on?!
17 LOIS AND CLARK 17
During this last, Lois has taken Clark aside, and:
LOIS
We're definitely going to elope.
CUT TO:
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 17.
18 INT. HANDYMAN'S LAB - NIGHT 18
Johnny Bermuda's on the phone, at his workbench tinkering
with an enormous automatic weapon
JOHNNY
(into phone)
Two quarts of milk? Sure, darlin',
I'll pick 'em up; make sure Cheryl
Marie does her homework. Love you,
too
Mindy has entered during this.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
It's tough juggling career and
family life. At least I manage to
leave my work at the office.
MINDY
Coroner's office. I got your
message.
JOHNNY
I've been able to introduce an
electro-chemical exciter to the
virus' DNA, and the damn stuff's
begun replicating.
MINDY
I love when viruses do that!
JOHNNY
Yes. But virus growing is a
painstaking process. It could take
months to produce the amount we
need.
MINDY
No! Tell it to hurry up!
JOHNNY
Mrs. Church, whining won't alter
the laws of nature.
She takes his chin, gazes into his eyes.
MINDY
We'll see.
(nods to box)
Let me have a peak.
JOHNNY
Okay, but at this stage it's
invisible to the naked eye.
He grabs the door handle of a stainless steel incubator box.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 18.
19 ANGLE FROM INSIDE INCUBATOR 19
The door opens to reveal, behind glass, a tight close-up of
Mindy and Johnny peering in. Johnny's mouth falls open;
he's stunned. We PULL BACK to find the tops popped off of
the eight or so petri dishes. Fuzzy fingers of virus sprout
from the dishes, climb the walls of the box.
20 JOHNNY AND MINDY 20
He slams the door, breathing hard in amazement.
MINDY
Is it dangerous? To us?
JOHNNY
Nah, it's not a virus we'd respond
to. But on Krypton... It must be
the most vicious thing going.
MINDY
And you did it all by yourself!
Little Cheryl Marie will be so
proud!
JOHNNY
Well, honesty compels me to admit I
did have some help.
MINDY
Who?
JOHNNY
Dr. Gerhard Krim. Noted
microbiologist and genetic
engineer.
MINDY
Johnny, can we trust him? Will he
tell anyone?
JOHNNY
Gerhard? No way. He won't say a
word.
He opens a closet to reveal a dead scientist, in lab coat,
hanging on a hook.
JOHNNY (CONT'D)
We're old friends.
He tosses the door shut as Mindy runs her hands over his
chest.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 19.
20 CONTINUED: 20
MINDY
You've got brains, Johnny. In all
the right places. I like that in a
man.
He removes her hands.
JOHNNY
Superman's as good as gone.
CUT TO:
21 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - BEDROOM AREA - NIGHT 21
Ellen lies on the bed; Lois changes the cold compress over
her eyes. Clark enters with paper bag.
CLARK
Lois, I put the word out to every
snitch we know to see what's goin'
on with crime in Metropolis
(pulls bottle from bag)
And here's the aspirin you wanted.
ELLEN
I doubt a pill can relieve years of
neglect and betrayal.
LOIS
Try two. Thanks, Clark.
He goes. Ellen sits up, nods in Clark's direction.
ELLEN
Tell me the truth, what do you know
about him? Don't make the same
mistake I did!
LOIS
Mother, don't do this. You're
projecting your troubles with Daddy
onto Clark and me. We're
_different_.
ELLEN
Sure. You think you know Clark. I
thought I knew your father. He was
a brilliant surgeon, I was his
loyal nurse. We had it all, but
apparently it wasn't enough for
Sam.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 20.
21 CONTINUED: 21
LOIS
(gently)
I know. It was really a bad thing
that happened. But at some point I
had to decide whatever hell Daddy
was going through was _his_, and
not let it wreck the rest of my
life. And... I think you should
stop letting it wreck yours.
22 THE LIVING ROOM 22
A Delivery Man is setting down a Christmas tree as Lois
enters, reacts. Sam pays the man, who leaves.
SAM
Surprise! I noticed you didn't
have a tree, yet. What do you
think, Princess?
LOIS
Daddy, I'm not sure what I think.
You've been gone so long, and now
suddenly we're doing Christmas....
SAM
I'm pushing too hard, is that it?
CLARK
Dr. Lane, Baby Gunderson's been
sweeping the same spot for about
twenty minutes, now...
Baby Gunderson stands sweeping the same tiny spot.
SAM
Just give her a little knock in the
head, she'll be fine.
LOIS
That's the other thing, Dad... You
can't expect Mother to sit around
stringing popcorn with...
(nods toward Baby)
You know...
SAM
Spending one evening with a robot's
so terrible?
LOIS
No, being replaced by one is.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 21.
22 CONTINUED: 22
SAM
You're right, you're right, I have
to be more sensitive. Baby! Get
in the closet.
LOIS
Daddy!
SAM
(opens door)
What? Easy storage is her best
feature. We only got the last
ticket here 'cause I flew coach and
Baby flew cargo.
She's entered the closet. PHONE RINGS. Clark grabs it.
SAM (CONT'D)
(tosses door shut)
See? Just like the old days.
Ellen staggers out, holding compress to her head.
LOIS
Look, Mother, Daddy got a tree.
ELLEN
So. Sam. Still making decisions
for everyone.
LOIS
Mother, could you _try_ to get
along? For me?
All three start to get into it, but:
CLARK
Lois, could I see you for a minute?
23 LOIS AND CLARK 23
He takes her aside, during:
CLARK
Long Legs Lulu called. She knows
what's goin' on in the streets and
needs to see us _now_.
LOIS
Perfect. Mother, Dad, something's
come up...
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 22.
23 CONTINUED: 23
CLARK
... a work thing...
LOIS
(grabs coat from couch)
We have to go out for a minute.
Suddenly Clark freezes, hearing a distant cry for help.
Lois notices, and they huddle again.
LOIS (CONT'D)
What do you hear?
CLARK
Someone's on a building, about to
jump!
LOIS
Go!
Clark dashes for the door, passing a dazed Sam and Ellen.
He pauses at the door...
CLARK LOIS
I gotta get some He has to feed
gas. his dog.
They stare at each other, then Clark dashes out.
LOIS
Well! I'll be back soon!
Ellen grabs her, whispers furiously:
ELLEN
You are not leaving me here with
that man and his android!
LOIS
Mother, we got a tip from an
informant and....
ELLEN
(crossing to closet)
I've always wanted to see you in
action! I'll get my coat.
LOIS
It could be dangerous! Deadly.
Very deadly.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 23.
23 CONTINUED: 2 23
ELLEN
I have so little to live for, it
hardly matters.
(yanks open closet)
Oh God!
Baby Gunderson stands cheerfully among the coats. KNOCK at
DOOR, Sam yanks it open. The Kents stand there with a
Christmas tree.
MARTHA/JONATHAN
Surprise!!
BABY GUNDERSON
(holds out dish)
Anyone care for a cashew?
CUT TO:
24 EXT. GLOOMY ALLEY - WITH LOIS AND ELLEN NIGHT 24
The red light district. Two Winos sit slumped against a
wall, sharing a bottle, as Ellen and Lois gingerly step over
them.
ELLEN
These people are your informants?
What possible information could
they have?
They stop at a doorway.
LOIS
This is Lulu's office. I wonder
where she is.
ELLEN
Maybe she's on a break.
LOIS
Mother, Lulu is a hooker. It's not
a union job.
ELLEN
Your friend is a _streetwalker_?
LOIS
(notices something)
Maybe not anymore....
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 24.
25 NEW ANGLE 25
In the f.g. are a woman's feet,in high heels, sticking out
of a trash can. Lois and Ellen approach, Ellen horrified.
Lois peers down into the trash can.
LOIS
Oh no. Lulu.
A NOISE. Lois spins to see a shadowy figure dart inside a
doorway.
LOIS (CONT'D)
Stay here. Maybe that person saw
something.
She dashes off and into the doorway.
ELLEN
But...
Ellen backs fearfully away from the body. Behind her, a
silhouetted figure of the HENCHMAN in a dark overcoat steps
into FRAME.
HENCHMAN
I thought we told you babes to stay
off these streets tonight.
ELLEN
You have me mistaken for someone
else. My daughter and I are here
in a professional capacity.
HENCHMAN
Not on this corner. No babes work
this corner without our okay.
ELLEN
Now look, you....
He pulls out a gun.
ELLEN (CONT'D)
(terrified)
I'll tell her!
With little terrified screeches, Ellen runs after Lois, we
CUT TO:
26 EXT. TOP OF BUILDING - BILLBOARD - NIGHT 26
Shooting up over the roof's edge at a billboard for "Nice
Nose" nasal spray.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 25.
26 CONTINUED: 26
It features a large cutout nose, which receives periodic
sprays from a decongestant bottle in the form of a fine
mist. A piece of catwalk extends out from the bottom of the
board, and on this stands Mindy, looking forlorn. CAMERA
MOVES IN as Superman LANDS near her.
SUPERMAN
(surprised)
Mrs. Church?
MINDY
No, don't try to stop me. Jumping
is the only answer to my
loneliness.
SUPERMAN
(a bit dubious)
Now surely a woman as attractive,
rich, and successful as you has
reasons to live.
MINDY
So often beautiful women become
prisoners of their charms.
27 INTERCUT REAR OF BILLBOARD 27
Johnny's near the mechanism supplying the spray mist. He
injects the hoses with a large syringe marked "Virus."
MINDY
(sniffling)
Furthermore, my beauty reminds me
of men. And men remind me of my
incarcerated husband. And that
reminds me I can no longer live
with the scorn of being a crime
lord's wife.
28 CLOSE ON NOSE 28
The mist wafts around Superman, who fans it out of his face.
SUPERMAN
Look, you've turned your husband's
wealth into charitable donations;
you're reaching out to the
community. You're gonna do fine in
this town.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 26.
29 INTERCUT SIDE OF SIGN 29
Mindy sees Johnny's hand poke out and make the "okay" sign.
MINDY
Well, since you put it that way....
(suddenly fine)
Okay.
SUPERMAN
There you go.
MINDY
Could you take me to some poor
people?
30 BEHIND SIGN 30
Johnny closes his bag, smiles to himself.
JOHNNY
It won't be long, big guy, and your
flying days'll be over.
BLACK.
_END OF ACT TWO_
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 27.
_ACT THREE_
FADE IN:
31 INT. PERRY'S OFFICE ON SKI BOOTS - DAY #2 31
The boots are locked into bindings on a pair of skis as we
PULL BACK to find Perry in the boots, holding ski poles,
trying to tuck into downhill position. Jimmy looks on.
JIMMY
Bend your knees, Chief! You gotta
bend your knees!
PERRY
Olsen, you tell me to bend my knees
one more time and I'll bend yours
permanently!
Lois sticks her head in the door.
LOIS
I filed a story on Mindy Church's
suicide attempt, like you asked.
(starts away)
But frankly, I think she's up to
something.
Perry CLOMPS after her. In the b.g., his desk phone rings,
Jimmy picks it up.
32 INT. BULLPEN - WITH LOIS AND PERRY 32
They've reached Clark's desk, where Clark is working.
PERRY
I understand Superman talked her
down. He apparently disagrees with
you.
CLARK
It's... possible she really is
desperate and alone.
LOIS
Boy, you guys are sentimental
softies.
PERRY
Oh really. Superman's a
'sentimental softy?'
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 28.
32 CONTINUED: 32
LOIS
(sly smile at Clark)
He's worse than all of you.
Clark grins back. Jimmy rushes out.
JIMMY
Uh Chief, your son just called.
Alice found out about the ski trip
and he had to invite her, too.
PERRY
Judas priest.
(clomps back to office)
We're split up! Do I buy her a
gift? What's the etiquette on
this?
LOIS
(dryly)
Family is what the holidays are all
about, Chief.
Perry goes.
CLARK
(gently)
Gee, you really got burned, didn't
you?
LOIS
What do you mean?
CLARK
When your family started falling
apart... It must've been really
painful for you. I guess I am kind
of a softy. But it's probably what
I learned as a kid.
The bravado drains away and Lois leans against his desk.
LOIS
You know... When my father left...
I thought it was because of me.
Then I realized it's just the way
people are. They make the deepest
commitments to each other... have
children, even... And just walk
away from it all. That's what I
learned as a kid.
Clark reaches out and takes her hand.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 29.
32 CONTINUED: 2 32
CLARK
Not everyone walks away.
She squeezes his hand, smiles softly.
LOIS
Oh, I hope not.
A nice moment, then suddenly Clark sneezes!
LOIS (CONT'D)
Bless you!
Clark just sits there in real surprise.
CLARK
Uh... thanks...
LOIS
Wait a minute. I've never seen you
sneeze. Ever.
CLARK
(concern creeping into
his voice)
That's... because I never have.
CUT TO:
33 EXT. CITY STREET - WITH ELLEN AND MARTHA - TRACKING - DAY 33
Everyone's bundled up; the streets are dressed for the
holidays. Ellen and Martha carry shopping bags.
ELLEN
Has Lois mentioned what kind of
wedding she'd like?
MARTHA
To be honest, I have heard the word
'elope.'
ELLEN
Oh dear. That's probably my
influence.
MARTHA
You encouraged her to elope?
ELLEN
Not exactly. I said in my case a
big wedding was money down a rat
hole.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 30.
33 CONTINUED: 33
MARTHA
You _said_ that?
ELLEN
Well, maybe once. Or twice, or
eight hundred times.
As they near a shadowy niche between buildings. A MUGGER
steps from the shadows with a gun aimed at them.
ELLEN (CONT'D)
Oh!
MUGGER
Step back.
They step back into the shadows, as:
MUGGER (CONT'D)
Gimme your purses. Then stay put.
Ellen quickly does, Martha is annoyed but complies, the
Mugger dashes off.
MARTHA
Let's go!
ELLEN
He said to stay put!
MARTHA
(grabs Ellen's hand)
Maybe we'll see where he went!
34 NEW ANGLE 34
The mugger dashes around the corner of a building and the
two women run after him. They reach the corner, peer
around.
35 INTERCUT THEIR POV - GLOOMY ALLEY 35
The Mugger is himself being mugged. The Henchman has a
nastier gun trained on the Mugger, who is handing over the
two purses.
HENCHMAN
How many times do we have to say
it? You don't work for us, you
don't work.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 31.
35 CONTINUED: 35
ELLEN
(hissing)
That's the same man I saw last
night!!
The Henchman hustles the Mugger into the back of a van,
jumps in after him, the Driver floors it and the van
SCREECHES off.
Ellen stares, astonished, as Martha silently mouths the
license number, memorizing it.
CUT TO:
36 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - ON PHONE CONSOLE - DAY 36
The big phone console has dozens of lines, all of which are
flashing or lit as an Intergang Worker frantically works the
phones. We PAN to the lit-up machine consoles and computers
where Workers enter information, then to the map of
Metropolis where Workers spot new conquests, map out
territories. Finally we come to Mindy, feet on desk, cigar
in mouth, poring through a print-out, checking off items.
HENCHMAN
It's like the good old days, Mrs.
Church. Once this town figured out
we meant business...
MINDY
(eyes narrowing)
_Who_ meant business?
HENCHMAN
_You_ meant business... Every
operation in the city... Numbers,
gambling, gangs, protection...
They're all fallin' in line.
Intergang is back!
37 NEW ANGLE 37
as the elevator opens and Johnny Bermuda enters. Delighted,
Mindy stashes the stogie, rushes to see him.
JOHNNY
Superman must be sick as a dog.
The virus should be going nuts by
now.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 32.
37 CONTINUED: 37
MINDY
(takes his arm)
That's really neat, Johnny, but
I've been doing additional
thinking.
As they pass a table, she scoops up a Daily Planet.
MINDY (CONT'D)
Those reporters, Lois Lane and
Clark Kent, are writing about crime
in Metropolis and how they think
someone is organizing it.
JOHNNY
So?
MINDY
Well, it's annoying.
JOHNNY
I guess that means you want them
dead.
MINDY
Is that a big deal?
JOHNNY
You're becoming a full time job.
Mrs. Church, when does all this
killing end?
MINDY
I don't know, is there a rule?
(drawing closer)
I'm sure you'll come up with
something wonderful.
JOHNNY
Gimme a minute.
(then)
Okay, got it.
MINDY
Yay.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 33.
37 CONTINUED: 2 37
JOHNNY
I can rig their microwave ovens so
at the end of the Cook cycle, the
oven will emit a high-pitched tone,
undetectable by the human ear, yet
so intense it'll rupture the blood
vessels in their brains and kill
them in seconds, with all the
appearance of a stroke.
MINDY
(breathless)
Oh! Oh, Johnny. I don't know what
to say. Yes, I do.
And she grabs him in an enormous kiss, pulling away with
difficulty, her hands running down his chest. He gazes at
her evenly as she recovers.
JOHNNY
Mrs. Church, you and I are both
married, and I believe in the
sanctity of the home. Now if
you'll excuse me... I have a school
play to go to...
He smiles and goes. Mindy stares after him in horror.
CAMERA MOVES IN on her as her eyes narrow.
MINDY
(dangerous mutter)
I don't really like rejection,
Johnny.
CUT TO:
38 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - ON SAM LANE - DAY 38
SAM
(with importance)
Male lips.
WIDEN to reveal Jonathan Kent trying to follow. The two
Christmas trees stand nearby.
SAM (CONT'D)
I'm talking implants, Jonathan.
Men can already enlarge anything
else on their bodies, but lips are
largely virgin territory.
He pulls a pair of shiny rubber lips from his pocket.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 34.
38 CONTINUED: 38
SAM (CONT'D)
Imagine going through life with a
set of these,babies.
Baby Gunderson totters by with a tray of empty pitcher and
glasses, exits FRAME, during:
SAM (CONT'D)
An investment of fifty grand, and
you're in.
An O.S. CRASH.
SAM (CONT'D)
Baby! Could you hold it down a
little?
Baby totters back through FRAME in b.g.
JONATHAN
Well, I follow the market pretty
closely. Everything I've read
points to a bad year for rubber
lips.
Another CRASH. Sam leaps up, crosses to closet.
SAM
Baby! Honey, I think it's nap
time.
(opens closet)
Later we'll rent a movie; your
favorite, 'Robocop.'
Baby smiles, walks into the closet, Sam plucks kitchen
magnets off her face.
SAM (CONT'D)
I warned you not to get so close to
the fridge.
He tosses aside the magnets, closes door as Ellen and Martha
enter, trailed by Lois and Clark in agitated conversation.
CLARK
Mom, it's _great_ you got the
license number, I'm just saying you
shouldn't chase muggers.
LOIS
It's okay, Martha, he tells me the
exact same thing.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 35.
38 CONTINUED: 2 38
Clark crosses into kitchen, looking none too good. Ellen,
rushes to Sam.
SAM
What happened?!
ELLEN
Sam, a mugger stole our purses!
SAM JONATHAN
Oh my God! Are you alright?
Both men reflexively hug their wives. Ellen is startled as
she and Sam both realize he has his arms around her.
ELLEN
Why, Sam...
He sheepishly smiles, lowers his arms. Meanwhile:
39 KENTS AND LOIS 39
MARTHA
(alarmed)
Lois... Something's very wrong with
Clark.
LOIS
I know, I keep telling him to go to
bed, but he won't listen.
PHONE RINGS, Lois grabs it, Martha and Jonathan go to
kitchen.
LOIS (CONT'D)
(into phone)
Hello? Oh, hi, Jimmy. You did?
Let's have it.
(deflated)
What? Are you sure? Thanks.
40 KITCHEN 40
LOIS
Guess who owns the van. Our
favorite cover operation...
Costmart.
CLARK
(reaches for tie)
I think I'll hop over there and do
a little scan....
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 36.
40 CONTINUED: 40
He suddenly coughs, looks very wobbly.
MARTHA
You're doing no such thing! Sit
down.
Clark sinks into a kitchen chair. There's a SIZZLE and a
bit of SMOKE issues from the fabric. Alarmed, Martha feels
his forehead.
MARTHA (CONT'D)
Honey, you're burning up!
LOIS
Clark!
JONATHAN
Son, let's take you home and get
you to bed.
CLARK
(weakly)
Okay, okay. So... this is what
being sick feels like.
(glances at clock)
Oh wait, there's just one thing I
gotta do first...
CUT TO:
41 EXT. RUN-DOWN STREET - ORPHANAGE - HIGH ANGLE - DAY 41
A crowd of kids waits outside the grim facade marked "King
Street Children's Home." A small group of Media types are
also in attendance as CAMERA CRANES DOWN to include a TV
NEWS REPORTER.
TV NEWS REPORTER
... The kids here at the Children's
Home are eagerly awaiting the
arrival of one of their favorite
people in what has become an annual
event...
42 INTERCUT LOIS 42
She makes her way through the crowd, craning her neck as:
KIDS (O.S.)
Look! There he is! He's coming!
There he is!
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 37.
43 WIDE 43
The kids and crowd erupt in APPLAUSE as Superman, BLURS into
view, then, trying to look energized, floats down with a big
Christmas tree. The kids flock around him. FLASHBULBS, TV
CAMERAS
SUPERMAN
(to kids)
Hey, how you doin'? It wouldn't
feel like the holidays if I didn't
come see you guys
(to press)
Maybe some of you in our city are
thinking your family could use one
more little person. Please
remember my buddies here.
Suddenly, from O.S., the sound of SLEIGH BELLS, and:
MINDY (O.S.)
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Everyone turns and:
44 NEW ANGLE 44
Coming onto the street is a convertible Rolls Royce pulled
by eight muscular young men in running tights, reindeer
antlers on their heads. Mindy is perched atop the rear seat
wearing a short, sexy "Santa" outfit, ringing a bell,
speaking through a cordless mike. Stuffed into the rear
seat are such kid-alienating items as designer purses, glass
sculptures, desk blotters, lingerie, etc.
MINDY
Hello, and Merrr-ry Christmas to my
adopted hometown, Metropolis! I
love kids. I mean, I used to _be_
one. You orphans give me the gift
of reminding me how fortunate I am
to be wealthy, so I want to give
something back!
45 INTERCUT KIDS, CROWD, VARIOUS ANGLES 45
JINGLE BELL ROCK issues from speakers on the car as Mindy
tosses gifts to the kids. One dazed boy catches a designer
purse, another kid a martini shaker, a third a lacy teddy.
46 SUPERMAN 46
He's sweating, looking shaky. Lois steps up beside him.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 38.
46 CONTINUED: 46
SUPERMAN
I'm sick.
LOIS
You aren't the only one.
SUPERMAN
Seriously. I'd better get out of
here.
Lois is now very alarmed, she clears a path for Superman,
who gamely smiles, waves, and makes his way toward a corner
building.
47 MINDY 47
MINDY
(still tossing)
I love you! I love you all!
Then she notes with satisfaction that Superman is walking
shakily away.
48 ALLEY 48
Lois and Superman come into the alley and he leans heavily
against a building. He's pale, panting.
SUPERMAN
Aw, man.
And he slips down the side of the building to the ground.
LOIS
Clark!
49 MINDY 49
MINDY
Ho, ho, ho.
BLACK.
_END OF ACT THREE_
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 39.
_ACT FOUR_
FADE IN:
50 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - DAY 50
Superman lies on the bed, Martha, very upset, wrings out a
washcloth in cold water, places it on his head. Lois and
Jonathan stand worriedly in the doorway.
SUPERMAN
Thanks, Mom.
MARTHA
I'm going to let you rest.
51 INT. CLARK'S LIVING ROOM ON MARTHA - DAY 51
Martha, Lois, and Jonathan turn away from bedroom area.
MARTHA
(fighting panic)
My boy is sick. For the first time
in his life.
LOIS
Martha, does he have any medical
records? X-rays? Anything that
shows how his body works?
KNOCK at door. Lois goes to it, as:
JONATHAN
Nothing. There just was never the
need.
She opens the door to reveal Sam and Ellen.
SAM
We got here as quick as we could.
What's going on?
LOIS
Daddy... You're a doctor.
SAM
Thanks for remembering, Sweetie.
LOIS
I was wondering if you could take a
look at a friend of mine.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 40.
52 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - DAY 52
Sam and Lois appear at the entrance, Sam looks stunned as we
INCLUDE Superman. Ellen and Martha appear behind him.
SAM
Lois... Superman?
LOIS
He and Clark are very close.
Martha stifles a sob.
LOIS (CONT'D)
Clark's out on assignment, so when
Superman got sick, I brought him
here.
Sam moves closer. Superman is obviously worse; feverish,
weak. Sam feels for pulse, temperature, swollen glands.
LOIS (CONT'D)
Daddy... We need your help. I need
your help.
SAM
(approaching her)
Lois, he's very ill. His
physiology may be totally different
from ours, and I haven't practiced
for fifteen years..!
LOIS
I know. But when I was little, I
knew my father was a brilliant
doctor.
(to Ellen)
Wasn't he?
(Ellen nods 'yes')
If I never ask anything else of
you, be that doctor again.
A silence fills the room. Then Sam touches her cheek and
takes off his coat. Lois smiles gratefully, exits to the
living room with Martha. Sam is near the bed, glances back,
surprised to see Ellen standing there.
ELLEN
(awkwardly)
I... was wondering if you needed a
good nurse.
CUT TO:
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 41.
53 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY 53
Johnny Bermuda finishes the last of rigging Lois' microwave.
The covering's been removed from the face of the unit, and
he is installing a small metal device inside before
reattaching the panel. He takes out a cell phone and dials.
CAMERA MOVES TO the outside of the closet, as:
JOHNNY
(into phone)
Reporting in. Yeah, it's me.
54 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - CLOSET - BABY GUNDERSON 54
She stands there, inert. MOVE IN as:
JOHNNY (O.S.)
... The Handyman. Everything's all
set to go. I'm headed back to the
wharf.
Baby's eyes flutter in reaction.
CUT TO:
55 CLOSE ON - HEADLINES 55
The Daily Planet spins out at us from darkness. Headlines
read: "Crime Wave Grips City."
56 INT. DAILY PLANET - DAY 56
Chaos! Outside, SIRENS scream. Staffers dash around, talk
furiously on phones, pound on keyboards. FIND Perry as he
stalks through the room, pausing at an editor's desk:
PERRY
Cancel all vacations, no one goes
home for the weekend...
Jimmy races up carrying computer printouts and wire copy.
JIMMY
A robbery every eight minutes...
Muggings on every street corner...
Cops completely out manned... It's
like a war out there.
CUT TO:
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 42.
57 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - DAY 57
Serene, calm, precision clockwork. Workers calmly move
markers over maps, pull print-outs from computers. Mindy's
at her desk, on phone headset, painting her nails.
MINDY
(calm and serene)
Okay, activate sector nine.
Robbery unit head to Metropolis
Savings and Loan....
CUT TO:
58 INT. DAILY PLANET - NEWSROOM - DAY 58
Workers run, PHONES RING, SIRENS.
JIMMY
(reads from printouts)
... The Central Armory is under
siege... A shopping mall's been
taken hostage...
PERRY
Is this whole damn city gonna
collapse? Where're Lois and Clark?
And where the Sam Hill is Superman?
CUT TO:
59 INT. CLARK'S KITCHEN - DUSK 59
The room is shadowy, lit by the setting sun. Sam pores
through medical books, medicine bottles lie nearby. Lois
brings over coffee. Ellen stands wearily by a window, a
SIREN goes by. Distant GUNFIRE.
ELLEN
(dully)
Another siren. I've never heard so
many sirens.
A tired Martha comes from the bedroom with a tray, hands it
to Jonathan, who's on dish duty.
MARTHA
He's asleep again.
(emotionally)
It's so hard for him to breathe.
Lois touches her shoulder. Sam takes off glasses, rubs his
eyes.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 43.
59 CONTINUED: 59
SAM
Everything points to a rampaging
viral infection. No medicine I
know of seems to be effective, and
I'm afraid it's overwhelming his
system.
(then)
He's very lucky to have you all
here.
LOIS
Not as lucky as we are to have him.
She breaks down. Sam stands, takes her in his arms.
LOIS (CONT'D)
Daddy...? Save him.
Sam walks her toward the bedroom.
SAM
Lois, you were a little girl when
you thought I could do miracles.
Now you're grown up, and you know
miracles come at a price.
LOIS
I know.
SAM
There is one very controversial
treatment. The theory is to take
the host body to the point of
death. As it begins to die, it can
no longer support the invading
virus. It's a great risk...
bringing your friend close enough
to death to starve out the virus,
yet pull him back to life
afterwards.
They've reached the bedroom.
LOIS
Daddy are you asking me to make
this decision for him?
INCLUDE Superman, as:
SUPERMAN
(weakly)
You don't have to. The answer is
yes.
DISSOLVE TO:
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 44.
60 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - ON LOIS DUSK 60
She's an the phone.
LOIS
Yes, Dr. Klein. You heard me
correctly. I'll put Superman on,
you can confirm that with his voice
print.
She passes the phone to Superman.
SUPERMAN
It's me, Dr. Klein. Deliver it as
Lois asked.
DISSOLVE TO:
61 INT. CLARK'S LIVING ROOM - ON SEALED BOX - DUSK 61
The heavy lead box lies on a rolling cart. The box is
sealed all over with S.T.A.R. Labs yellow tape. Sam pushes
it past the fearful Kents, and into the bedroom where Lois
stands near the bed, holding Superman's hand.
LOIS
(suddenly panicking)
Look, you can change your mind...
There's still time...
SAM
I'm afraid there isn't.
(to Superman)
You understand, I've never done
this procedure in quite this way
before?
SUPERMAN
I understand.
Lois grips Superman's hand tighter as Sam cuts the seals.
He glances at Lois and Superman, Lois holds her breath, Sam
opens the box to reveal a chunk of GLOWING Kryptonite.
Superman reacts in pain, gripping Lois' hand.
SAM
This won't be easy, Honey.
DISSOLVE TO:
62 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - DUSK - LATER 62
Superman lies near the Kryptonite, obviously suffering.
Lois is nearby, drained.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 45.
62 CONTINUED: 62
LOIS
Can you forgive me?
SUPERMAN
(near whisper)
Forgive you?
LOIS
For putting you through this.
SUPERMAN
You had no choice. We had no
choice.
LOIS
Can you forgive me for being
selfish? Competitive at work? Too
busy too often?
SUPERMAN
Don't apologize for the things I
love about you. Your fire, your
strength.
LOIS
Remember once I asked how you felt
about me... And you said being with
me was stronger than you alone?
Grab onto that strength now. We'll
be strong enough for everybody.
SUPERMAN
(very faint)
I love you.
She kisses him, but as she pulls back from his lips, she
sees he's unconscious.
LOIS
Daddy!!
Sam comes rushing in, checks Superman.
SAM
(softly)
He's in a coma.
DISSOLVE TO:
63 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM AREA - NIGHT #2 63
Lights are low. Lois is asleep next to Superman, her head
on his chest.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 46.
63 CONTINUED: 63
Sam stands at the window, staring blearily out. A distant
SIREN. Jonathan enters.
JONATHAN
(whispering)
May I?
Sam smiles, touches Jonathan's shoulder.
SAM
Jonathan, I wanna thank you for
being so good to my little girl.
It's been tough for her to trust
people, and I feel somewhat to
blame for that. I'm thrilled she
found Clark.
JONATHAN
(stoically)
He's a special son.
SAM
He must be.
(watching Lois)
And Superman must be a special
friend.
JONATHAN
He and my boy have a lot in common.
LOIS
(waking)
Has there been any change?
SAM
Not yet. Except you're more
drained than I've ever seen you. I
want you to take a break. Go to
your place for a while.
LOIS
I can't leave. Jonathan tell him I
can't.
JONATHAN
Lois, Martha's feeling poorly...
We'd both like it if you came with
us for a bit.
(then)
I think Clark would appreciate it,
too.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 47.
63 CONTINUED: 2 63
SAM
I promise I'll call the minute
there's a change.
Ellen's in the doorway with blood pressure cuff. Lois
pauses just before going out, looks back at Sam.
LOIS
Daddy?
ELLEN
Trust him, Sweetheart.
Lois goes. Sam stares at Superman, fearful, frustrated.
Ellen comes up next to him, also watching. Sam sadly puts
an arm around her shoulder and we...
DISSOLVE TO:
64 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - MORNING - DAY #3 64
Jonathan is sprawled across the love seat, sleeping
fitfully, as CAMERA MOVES to find Lois and Martha still in
clothes, sacked out on Lois' bed. Lois keeps stirring,
moaning restlessly.
65 INTERCUT CLARK'S APARTMENT - MORNING 65
CAMERA MOVES through living room, where Ellen dozes on the
couch to the bedroom area where Superman lies motionless,
Sam slumped in nearby chair, head in hands.
CAMERA SLOWLY NEARS Lois. CAMERA SLOWLY NEARS Superman.
Lois stirs unhappily. Superman's breathing is labored.
LOIS
(softly, in her sleep)
Clark...
A moment, then Superman's eyes flutter.
SUPERMAN
Lois...
His eyes slowly open. He focuses as Sam slowly looks up in
disbelief. Now Lois' eyes fly open and she sits bolt
upright.
LOIS
Clark!
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 48.
66 LOIS' LIVING ROOM - MORNING 66
The PHONE RINGS. Jonathan groggily answers it.
JONATHAN
Hello? Sam! He what?! Yes! Yes!
I'll tell 'em!
He hangs up as Lois comes flying from bedroom area, Martha
behind her.
JONATHAN (CONT'D)
Lois....
LOIS
(welling up)
I know! I know! He's awake!
JONATHAN
How did you...
LOIS
I'm going over there!
She rushes back toward bedroom, grabbing shoes, coat.
Martha dashes to kitchen area, pours coffee from cold pot.
MARTHA
We're right behind you! Lois,
you're half asleep, take a cup of
coffee!
She slams it in the microwave, sets it, it TURNS ON.
LOIS
(struggling into shoes
and coat)
Thanks! He's gonna be alright!
I know he's gonna be alright!
MARTHA
We know it too, Honey.
Lois hugs Martha, they both dab their eyes, laughing at the
release of tension. Lois starts for the door.
MARTHA (CONT'D)
Don't forget your coffee!
The MICROWAVE BEEPS, signaling end of cook cycle. Martha
crosses to it when suddenly there's a HIGH PITCHED WHINE.
All three people grab their ears as it INTENSIFIES.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 49.
67 INT. CLARK'S BEDROOM - DAY 67
SUPERMAN suddenly sits up.
SUPERMAN
Lois!
SAM
Now, now, take it easy...
He rushes to restrain Superman, who tries to get out of bed.
SUPERMAN
Don't you hear it?!
SAM
(struggling)
Hear what?! Ellen!
68 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - DAY 68
The WHINE is horrendous as Martha, Jonathan, and Lois, start
crumpling to the floor. Bottles, a lamp, a vase EXPLODE.
69 CLARK'S 69
Ellen and Sam are both wrestling with Superman.
SAM
Son, you're delirious! Your body's
had a severe trauma and you're....
Superman suddenly BLURS from their grasp and out the window.
Sam and Ellen stare at their empty arms.
SAM (CONT'D)
... terribly weak.
70 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - DAY 70
Martha, Jonathan, and Lois, lie in agony on the floor, more
breakage now surrounding them, hands clutched to their
heads, mouths open in silent screams. Suddenly Superman
BLURS in through the window, snatches the microwave and
blurs out. Instant silence.
71 EXT. SKY OVER THE CITY - DAY 71
Superman FLIES into view, the Microwave still SHRIEKING, and
throws it like a football.
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 50.
72 THE SKY 72
The microwave, tiny in FRAME, shoots away into the sky,
leaving a vapor trail, then vanishes into the atmosphere.
73 INT. LOIS' APARTMENT - MORNING 73
Lois, Martha, and Jonathan are shakily standing as Superman
lands in the window, enters.
SUPERMAN
Are you alright?
LOIS
Are _you_ alright?!
They rush at each other, hug.
LOIS (CONT'D)
God, Clark, I thought I was gonna
lose you!
Then Superman hugs his parents.
MARTHA
Oh Clark!
JONATHAN
You had us worried, Son.
SUPERMAN
Your dad's theory was right, Lois.
He saved my life.
LOIS
(nodding happily)
And you saved ours.
(beat)
Clark, you see what happened? You
almost died the same night as me.
I think the same person's behind
all of it.
There is a sudden RATTLE from the closet. They all turn and
stare. Superman yanks it open to reveal Baby Gunderson.
MARTHA
Baby Gunderson! The poor thing's
been here the whole time.
BABY GUNDERSON
(coming out of closet)
The man came to fix the microwave.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 51.
73 CONTINUED: 73
LOIS
_What_ man?
BABY GUNDERSON
_Handy_man.
She opens her mouth, we hear the sound of a fast TAPE
REWIND, then we hear HANDYMAN'S voice:
BABY GUNDERSON (CONT'D)
'It's me, the Handyman. We're all
set to go. I'm headed back to the
wharf.'
LOIS
The Handyman? Clark, I thought he
was out of circulation.
SUPERMAN
Maybe not. This microwave thing is
exactly his style.
BABY GUNDERSON
(mouth open; HANDYMAN'S
VOICE)
'It's me, the Handyman. We're all
set to go. I'm headed back to
wharf.'
SUPERMAN
(heads to window)
And I'm headed there, too.
LOIS
(crossing to phone)
I'll call the cops and meet you!
MARTHA
(calling after Superman)
Honey, don't exert yourself!
CUT TO:
74 EXT. METROPOLIS POLICE DEPARTMENT - DAY 71
A scruffy SNITCH hurries down the steps and up to a pay
phone. He dials, then:
SNITCH
(into phone)
H'lo? It's me. I thought you
oughta know... There's a whole
lotta cops headed your way.
CUT TO:
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 52.
75 INT. MINDY'S LAIR - DAY 75
Johnny Bermuda stands looking at the Intergang map in the
empty office. Now he glances impatiently at his watch.
JOHNNY
C'mon, c'mon... Where the hell _is_
she?
He flops down in the desk chair, puts his feet on the desk.
The elevator doors fly open to reveal two COPS, Lois, and
Clark, trailed by the Henchman, who's playing "terrified."
COP # 1
There is a bunker down here!
LOIS
Just like Superman said.
CLARK
Well. Johnny Bermuda. 'The
Handyman.'
HENCHMAN
They made me, Johnny! They said
they'd put me away if I didn't show
'em your office!
JIMMY
_My_ office? This isn't my office!
Guns drawn, the cops are already looking all over the place.
COP # 1
Not what it looks like to me.
76 INTERCUT BOOK CASE 76
Framed photos of Johnny with others (from his lab) decorate
the shelves.
JOHNNY
Hold it, how'd those get here?!
Lois is looking through papers on desk.
LOIS
A lot of memos here on your
personal stationery.
JOHNNY
_What_?!
Clark's at a table looking at large sheets of paper.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 53.
76 CONTINUED: 76
CLARK
Blueprints here for modifying a
microwave oven...
LOIS
Notes for making a deadly form of
virus.
JOHNNY
Wait a minute...
The PHONE RINGS, Answering Machine answers:
ANSWERING MACHINE VOICE
This is the office of Johnny
Bermuda. Leave a message when you
hear the beep...
The Second Cop heads for the phone, but:
LOIS
Wait, let's hear who it is.
MINDY (V. 0.)
Johnny, it's me, Mindy. I've
thought about your offer, but I
won't help you. Intergang is
wrong, Johnny. I don't care how
much money is involved. Besides,
you know what you tried to do to
Lois Lane. Who knows what you'd do
to me?
Johnny lunges for the phone, but we hear the line go dead.
COP # 1
Get him outta here.
JOHNNY
(losing it)
You got it wrong!! It's her
office! It's all her!! She
runs Intergang!! I've been set
up!!
The cops cuff him, drag him to the elevator, we...
CUT TO:
77 EXT. METROPOLIS STREET - DAY 77
Mindy cheerfully hangs up the car phone, resumes filing her
nails.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 54.
77 CONTINUED: 77
MINDY
I don't really like rejection,
Johnny.
She puts the car in gear, drives off, we...
CUT TO:
78 INT. LOIS' LIVING ROOM - ON CHRISTMAS TREES - NIGHT #3 78
The two Christmas trees are nearly decorated, the lights
unlit, as we PULL BACK to find Sam, Martha, and Jonathan at
work. Ellen's up on a stepladder, placing the star. Baby
Gunderson has fingers splayed, tinsel hanging from them.
Lois and Clark enter with trays of food and drinks.
SAM
Well, it's the finest Christmas
_I've_ had in a long time.
(to Lois)
Thank you, Honey.
LOIS
Thank _you_, Daddy. For making it
that way for me, too.
ELLEN
Clark, who does Superman spend the
holidays with?
CLARK
(smiles)
Friends. Loved ones. He's a
pretty lucky guy.
MARTHA
(eying tree)
I believe we're finished! Light
'em, up!
Jonathan takes the two long extension cords from the trees,
plugs them in. A shower of SPARKS from the.outlets, and all
the lights in the apartment go out. Laughter, confusion,
Clark and Lois turn on flashlights.
CLARK
Just a second Take it easy
LOIS
I guess it's a one tree apartment.
(CONTINUED)
--page break--
"HOME IS WHERE THE HURT IS" (#11) Prod. Draft 10/17/95 55.
78 CONTINUED: 78
SAM
(grabs cords)
No one panic. Baby Gunderson... If
you wouldn't mind...
He takes both extension cords, plugs them into Baby's ears.
The trees light up. Aaaaaah's all around, applause.
JONATHAN
Well. Merry Christmas, everyone.
Martha and Jonathan hug, Sam and Ellen hold hands. They're
all chatting softly as:
79 LOIS AND CLARK 79
They've gone over by the big window, lit by moonlight and
the glow from the twin trees. It's begun snowing.
CLARK
(puts arms around her)
Maybe next year at this time we'll
have the holidays at our house.
LOIS
I guess there's a lot to be said
for family. People who stick by
you no matter what.
CLARK
Like you stuck by me. Lois, I've
never faced anything like that.
Maybe it was the Kryptonite that
saved me, but I think it was you.
They kiss.
CLARK (CONT'D)
You... still wanna elope?
LOIS
(glances at family)
You know... Without 'em, it might
be kind of dull.
They are kissing again as we PULL BACK to include the whole
family, the trees, Baby Gunderson with plugs in her ears,
and the falling snow.
BLACK.
THE END
![[HypnoCup] Élimination de Clark](/graph/news_icon/news_icon-93ab562db0f0329ef1031b8cf78f253e.jpg?v1){kind=icon}
![[HypnoCup] Clark en compétition dans le 3ème tour !](/graph/news_icon/news_icon-cfb55615fcdcd4242c27c8fcd3b7f915.jpg?v1){kind=icon}
